But my best friend, who I was in love with since I was 15 has been a constant in my life for years. Yourself or the kids? Thanks for writing this article. I have told him he will never notice me while he is putting all of his romance and effort into this girl. I have even offered marriage counseling and he thinks its a waste. We dont argue, we dont dislike one another, but I am not getting what I need from him. To work with us, just click here! I have also worked with people who made a choice only to regret it bitterly a few years down the line. I cant figure out why Im doing this to my marriage- and to my coworkers marriage. I dont want to lose my children but my spouse always argues with me in front of the kids. Lying and lying and lying and then speaking about getting married by church. If you would like help through this challenging situation, please reach out to us for coaching by clicking here. He has never loved any woman in his heart apart from me. But when life is forced to start and plans will have to be made with this girl He will see how our marriage was good. We also have a 2 year old. A way to help you choose Plus we have a lot of the same interests. What was hurting me and why and what could we do to fix it. Your relationship was rocked by infidelity, but you put in the work to, Is your man dragging his feet when it comes to popping the question? You have to be able to think about also what makes you happy. In the beginning of what now is an affair, I tried to talk to my husband about my needs because I thought he deserves a chance to succeed but Im always met with some reason why I shouldnt feel that way. I know that there are so many emotions coursing through you right now because you have found yourselfwanting someone else while in a relationship. You want to make sure that you can highlight the positives and make sure that you both get excited about your relationship again. We have actually created a program that is designed to help people decide whether they want to keep trying to salvage a marriage or move on, and it offers tips and tools to go through with your decision with ease and peace of mind. It is true that some people will opt to stay in a relationship in order to protect their family and the environment in which their children grow up, but it is also important to note that sometimes the tensions that build between the two spouses living under the same roof can have more of a negative effect on the children than a divorce or a separation. Im confused about this whole thing. I am attractive, play music, cook, well educated, romantic, never forget important days, and love her family, too. The aftermath of a breakup and getting back in touch with yourself takes time, and its important to take this time to focus on your personal wellbeing, tranform your life into what you want it to be, and ensure that you are able to be 100% responsible for your own happiness. Ive been reading a lot on the internet about this kind of situation, but almost all of it is about how to choose or what to do, if YOU fell in love for someone else. Its easy to say CUT them OFF but its actually very tough to do if they are all you can think about for the moment. Since marriage I never loved my husband. Eventually the kids will catch up. Ive been searching the web for months now. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions that can help identify the right solution for your situation. It has highlighted a lot more of the issues in my marriage. I stopped seeing that person for now, but our relationship troubles arent fixed. thoughts??? Just want to say thank your for reading. While chatting back and forth, my X fianc and i had never stopped loving each other. What would happen to your children? I am so torn, as I love both my ex and my husband, but I dont know what to do. There is a natural human tendency to dislike the bringer of bad news, even if that person was not the one who was behind the unpleasant news. When you aremarried and in love with another manor woman, the thing is, its not so much about it being someones fault.. Published by Family Friend Poems August 2008 with permission of the author. He said that he he kisses my picture every night before going to bed all these years. Its very important to ask yourself the tough questions to figure out if you WANT to make your marriage work or if you just feel obligated to do so. So I often dont say anything. Its helpful to remember that emotions themselves and neither good nor bad. She knows all that, we talk about it all, since she told me. I understand this can be difficult and painful, but through time each of you will heal. To work with us, just click here. According to Dr. Martha Lee clinical sexologist and author of Love,. There are many complexities involved so I would recommend reaching out to us for coaching. So nowI am married but in love with someone elseand I really dont know what to do. Im on the other side of the situation: I keel comparing him to my husband nd that has made me realise all the things i dont like about my husband but i have been trying to overlook it. Its normal to have disagreements, it really is. And it made me feel worse because I felt that I did the same infidelity that my spouse did to me about 7years ago. They went to school together in Africa and she initiated contact with him. DO I LOVE HIM I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE All i know Is now we arent talking His ringtone wont be going off for a long time And I think he's going to be happy with his new friends I felt like I was holding him back Now I get to see him fly We went from Strangers To friends To lovers To strangers To friends Though you might be feeling, Im so in love with you when you think about your over, you must also think about the effect it will have on your spouse and any children you may have. I wrote a lengthy article onwhen to get a divorce, and if you are feeling very unsure about whether or not you should leave this marriage I highly encourage you to read it. I am not expecting answers to all that, Yes, but sixteen-years of being more of a roommate than a spouse has serious consequences to the relationship. I have been happily married for 21 years. Thank you so much for your advice. She went out, back to the city, almost every other weekend, until last month, when she finally told me about her love for the other. I dont feel like we explored each others interests enough. I am so lost without him; I feel like he was brought in to my life for a reason. I contacted her to tell her about all the problems that weve had in our marriage. I dont talk to the guy i met online coz i dont want it to be used against me. On top of that, we are all subject to social and familial pressures and the fear of letting people that we care about down. I have known that my marriage was struggling for quite some time now (at least 2 years). I have been married for almost 7 years now and I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. So when Im feeling bad I often feel alone, I cant really talk about it with him. I cant help it or Its not my fault are things that I hear on a regular basis. Key points. I never thought that it could be threatened by anything until I met Chris. His face lights up when he sees you. I need help.. My husband and I have always been very close. Otherwise, we are more than happy to help you via one on one coaching. I am just empty and looking for love and to be loved. One of the people I worked with recently who came to me with a question about this type of situation wrote. I am in love with another man while married to someone else and he is also married. Just by being ourselves. He didnt push me or force me into anything and it felt so Surreal that I questioned everything. I know how hard this is because I deal with people who are in your shoes on a regular basis. Wishing you the best! When the timing feels right, your husband will appreciate your honesty. Now we have maybe once a month sex. He will go hangout with no responsibility and the girl worships him so I get how he is feeling that may be better. Going through the same dilemma . I dont have much confidence. Im just missing a connection, long talks, deep conversations, good sex, talking about problems, etc. So now Im stuck in a marriage I hate. What do I do? I tried to find reasons to meet this man again and again and I did found but I became totally dependent on him to be happy. Many of us develop anxiety and lose sleep over decisions with such high stakes. In our busy lives, many people dont feel like they get to spend enough time with their partners, and this is especially important for those of us whose love language is quality time. My husband and I only dated in a long distance relationship. Ny feelings are all over the place right now and even though I know what I really want to do which is be with her I dont want to hurt my wife but at the same time Im tired of living my life for everyone else and I want to do something that I want to do for a change in my life and what I think is best for me. We do not sleep together anymore for years now. So, what would your ideal marriage look like? I have been married for 17 year and my wife is a lovely lady. He doesnt travel much anymore and Im home with him and the kids and I am seeing that I dont like who Im married to. Its hard bc I dont want to live without him, but also dont want him to be with me if he cannot be committed. I tried but I could no let go the flame as it became bigger and bigger. In my case I am married, been married for about 11 years, and throughout the marriage it has been nothing but infidelity, a child born out of wedlock and emotional and mental abuse, including rape. I am torn whether i stay in a marriage and be happy but not in love or do i go to the other man who i have fallen deeply in love with? Also my libido is a lot higher then his, I love to experiment and try new things. If that is the case, then it will be easier for you to find Im still married, but not a day goes by where I dont think about the other woman. The key tosaving a marriageafter something like this happens, is to pinpoint where exactly the disconnect came from. You are currently in an abusive relationship and there is help available. Some have chosen their lover and have been very happy. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching by clicking here. His timing sure sucks and he did say that whatever I decide, he would be fine with. He doesnt know how to support me during this time with all the complexity of an ending marriage I was already checked out of, but living together, not yet divorced etc. between these two men would be to analyze your marriage and ask yourself what the Because I dont want to hurt my husband. If you choose to pursue a relationship with the person youve been having an affair with, how is that going to affect their life positively and how is that going to affect their life negatively? Its my downfall to try to take care of everyone and make sure everyone is happy. 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