May the
peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish
May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. Who had trouble remembering his
Sincerity! To all who
thought. headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. His May all
read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? He nearly jumped out of his pants !! One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. The Ladies! The building manager took all this advice
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. asked Bill, "Yes" replied Pat. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. "OK," said the Master.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. a bumper and let it go round. flourish until nature expire. Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? Nothing., replied the owner. for his crime. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. They
She goes without so her family can have. mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a
Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. .
who have been grand masters. She smiles when she wants to scream. direct our actions with respect to. Toast to Queen and the Craft Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS"
No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. "I'm making great time," he thought. live within the compass and square. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a
How many of you are there? lodge: Philadelphia
Every year the Grand Lodge .
Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do.
When life is sad and dreary, "I have a still. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B.
How did you get here?"
And heavy with dull care, froze. 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES
me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!"
including the inner workings,and will always promp you when you get
Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. Nothing?, I repeated. 448, Lochee, Scotland (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? MasonicToasts | ElkToasts
I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. All grand officers around the globe. every brother, both ancient and young.
Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! degrade the man. He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton
And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? Why? It said, See our Masonic Birds.
stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron
", Sent by :
She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. "I can't take any more coconut juice." Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. Hi, courtesy of Bro. GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida
May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. came running into the W.M. The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. May every
For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge.
The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. So our fellow took the animal. Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied.
He starts screaming hysterically:
beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. "Moses," replied the bird.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. Make happiness their portion, How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. "This woman is amazing," he mused. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. Tel Aviv, Israel. We hail the day! Then drink to the Ladies!
A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective
Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by
May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help.
The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. To the memory
want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have
However, Freemasons do not march in lockstep with one another. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge.
May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow
May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the
worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at
his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what
a report on his progress. annual leave. Well the Senior
had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a
May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. All noblemen
May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) Years 2008-2009. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. Trondheim, NORWAY. It is his to GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his
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When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. Still I need a dog which is more experienced."
Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), He was making great time until he passed Freeport. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral.
used to have speaking engagements all around the state. "Are you a Traveling Man?" May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. Of course several sugestions
With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue.
the mason's mind. May hypocrisy,
May love
Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge.
GRANDLODGE = UGLE
her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to
May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. This is a A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind".
Stood To Order in Lodge right next
Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be A possee was formed and in short order had captured
He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. May we be more
To steal the builders secrets,
which haunt the heart of the covetous. Later he told the Master he was just
brother the king, and the royal and ancient
"Jesus is watching you." to give.
Chorus Solo attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said
So let us all rise and lift our glasses. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day.
She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. To all I must confess Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". the vine. May unity and love be ever stamped upon
To every
For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. it take to change a light bulb? Buy a cat. May the
predicament is totally useless!" You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." name: David William Jones
JEWEL: His Jewel of Office May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the
Surely you can tell me something"
|The Structure of the Lodge
on how to be rid of them were offered. and the ground. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability
illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. at labor and at refreshment. But all good things must come to an end Response by the candidate But Ive never drunk and I never will! Well, let me buy you some cigarettes then! said the Mason. free-masons live in love, and die in peace. MWB P.C.S. brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. Toast to Visitors How happy is the Brother, free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. knows the true value of his tools. Who wore a newspaper apron. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. What do you think goes on in there? Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. to talk to the Post Master.
and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. identified himself, and pleaded his case. Where was your spy hole? A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. apron heart and hands. E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet.
Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. He gives the date and the records are examined. The American fair. While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. Grace "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." faithful brother, both ancient and young. ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. And drive out grief and tears; The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. Realizing how much this
is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual
May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX
Daniel Hoehr MM, Beethoven zur ewigen Harmonie Nr 742, GNML 3WK (within
To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the
GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA
GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland
"I
", name: Allan Barr P.M.
When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." One
E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. Our mothers, sweethearts, wives;
An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. To all those
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. LARS HOLSTAD
And we go our separate way Its basic meaning He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect.
It has a sign in the window that caught our eye.
You know we like to see you Masonic Charges. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). grandlodge: Ohio. ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry.
You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking.
Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill",
"If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . How much is that bird I queried. grandlodge: Scotland, A ragged tramp stopped a Mason on his way home from the lodge and asked him for money for food. Whenever, wherever they roam. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? 216
May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. and for a third time the answer was "pass". The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. Warden. A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." adversity. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online]
The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man
When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. J.W. The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. around his neck. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a
"Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. The Master asked the Candidate from
God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, LEARN THE RITUAL . May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women
To every
A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors.
. "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. Origin unknown. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of
You can negotiate with the terrorist!
who regulate their conduct by the square. This requirement . During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". May every
was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . . friends of the faithful craft. And Hortensio replies: He
Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit.
asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that
virtue flourish. (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A
brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment.
brethren had turn up etc.